The journey through life isn’t always fun. Our choices take us in directions of ease or stress. Occasionally life has a mind of her own with twists and turns that overwhelm and blindside us. Taking us completely off course.
How do you become your own hero? Take responsibility for your journey. I’d like to share a few tips to prompt you to dig a little deeper into your soul, to find a connection to get you back on track and feeling better than ever.
1. Stop blaming others for your misfortune or hardships.
This isn’t a very popular sentiment, the truth is, we make choices everyday that are either “good” or “bad”. That’s an over simplification, but let’s call the “good” choices all the decisions that make life easier without causing harm to anyone else. “Bad” choices would be choices that cause us pain, discomfort or harm others.
“To be the hero of your own life- you have to take responsibility for your journey.” Which means taking responsibility for your choices. Maybe even believing that you have choices to begin with. Life can get hectic and before you know it, your schedule is full, you work more hours than you care to, days run into nights, minute by minute you feel your life slip away. Morning rituals including coffee, feeding the family breakfast, everyone rushing around the house, kids rushing out to catch the bus, forgotten lunches, husband running out the door without a morning greeting. It’s all so delusional.
Imagine there is a pause button.If you have a family, kids and responsibilbities, schedule time, as soon as possible for yourself. A date. Treat yourself kindly and lovingly. Here you will be examining things that need adjusting. You may want to go to the park with a picnic. Set up a quiet space in a favorite comfy spot at home. I take long baths with candles, Soundcloud and my journal. Where ever your magic thinking spot, that’s where you should go.
Ask yourself, Where am I blaming others?
Sometimes as we go through life we get so overwhelmed we contribute to our own unhappiness. Instead of blaming others for not having enough time, energy or joy in your life. Find what makes you happy. Look deep. Go back as many years as it takes, sift through and find a happy time, a happy place, imagine yourself there. Feel the contentment. Sometimes, joy, is simply a choice.
2. Take steps toward your happy place.
Now that you have explored blame and reunited with your happy place. Let’s take some steps toward a more permanent ‘happy place’. This is where it’s important to be honest and trustworthy with yourself. What makes you happy? What or where are you content? When do you feel your best? It could be a job you’d like to go back to. Maybe do some spring cleaning around the house to organize and spruce up the place. Find an activity that really rocks your socks off. Dance, a gym membership, kick-boxing, dog walking…. whatever it is, add excercise as one of the steps to getting back to your happy place. Make a list of things that have been tuggin at your soul. Things you know you want to explore or implement in your life.
Don’t treat this like a chore list. This is a journey. Sometimes the journey to happy is long, twisted and difficult. But when you are completely on board and honoring yourself, it can make the trip seem faster and easier. Take it slow, and work everyday to achieve something your soul longs for.
3. Remove negativity from your life.
The hardest negativity to purge from my life has been my own criticism. “You’re 40 and this is all you have done with your life?” My latest adventure in hair coloring has left me with hydrolized hair and a pixie hair cut I’m not that jazzed about. I spent days trying to laugh it off. The reality is that I have been devasted. It’s only hair, it will grow back. I know this. Further more, I KNOW what to do and not do when coloring my hair. Regardless, the critic still creeps in and says, ” You should have known better, now look at you.”
Being kind to yourself can be super tricky. For me, it feels selfish, conceited, inappropriate in some way. I’m still discovering new ways to be loving and kind to myself. It’s ok if this takes a while, you are making a choice to grow and learn. This most likely will continue for the rest of your life. Be aware of when you are unkind to yourself and try your best to turn that around as quickly as possible.
Take a look at your relationships. How are they doing for positivity vs. negativity energy? How do those relationship leave you feeling after you’ve spent time with them? If you find yourself in relationships that makes you unhappy, it’s time to say “good bye.” Build your life with people that encourage you to have a healthy, loving, relationship with yourself and them. If you constantly feel stress and anxiety, re-evaluate, seek counseling, and work on transitioning toward more joy everyway you can.
4. DO WHAT YOU LOVE.
As adults we often are discouraged from dreaming and imagining. One of the biggest steps you can take to find your happy place is doing what you love. Sometimes that doesn’t include our jobs. Sometimes we are locked into a career that we are not happy with. It’s ok if you are stuck. For now. Remember the journey may take a while. As soon as you are aware of what you love to do, do it and do it often. I love to sew and write. I spend a lot of time doing this. I feel at ease, comforted and happy when I am making things and being creative. Crafting words on a page help me purge over active thoughts and creates joy when I help others feel better .
Find what you love.
I’ll leave you with this quote and prayers for ease and comfort on your journey to bliss.
If you always do what interests you, at least one person is pleased.
Disclosure of Material Connection: I have not received any compensation for writing this post. I have no material connection to the brands, products, or services that I have mentioned. I am disclosing this in accordance with the Federal Trade Commission’s 16 CFR, Part 255: “Guides Concerning the Use of Endorsements and Testimonials in Advertising.”