How long have you been feeling stuck? Has something felt “off” in your life? When something feels off, that’s because IT IS. When you pay attention to your feelings, they guide you to a better solution.
To do this sit still with yourself and really look inward to see what your emotions are telling you. Sometimes decision making will be challenging but often times you already know what to do. It’s a matter of confidence, will power, boldness and the grace to pull it off. Here are some things that might help you make more confident decisions.
1. Ask your heart and soul what feels best.
Getting real with yourself is crucial for decision making. Some things feel better than others and sometimes it’s hard to weigh in on all the pro’s and con’s of ‘what to do’. Usually there is a lot of fear to sift through. I suggest looking that fear right in the eyes and figure out how to disarm it. This is where my journal comes in handy. I get busy writing and asking myself questions like;
- Why am I afraid of in this situation?
- Am I really afraid or is there something else going on?
- What obstacles am I facing around this situation?
- How can I move through this with as much EASE and GRACE as possible?
- Will this change make a positive impact in my life?
Once there’s clarity about the choices and options you want to explore. Dig deeper for more clarity with more specific questions around your previous answers. This can be a long process. I usually play soft music, light candles and sip tea and allow myself to be as calm and relaxed as possible. It helps the real stuff emerge to the surface.
2. Make a list of all the people my decision affects positively or negatively.
Naturally when you are in relationships, your choices affect those closest to you. Taking a good look at how decisions and choices will affect others, is a loving way to contribute to relationships. This is a personal and private process when faced with personal decisions. It can be brought up for discussion once you are clearer with yourself. It’s important to add that you should make decisions for yourself, with the intentions that those you love will support you. IF they do not, that maybe part of the changes ahead of you; Eliminating nay sayers from your decision making.
When I was younger in my first marriage, I had a few ides for buisnesses that I wanted to start. One was low investment, and all the profits were would be mine. It would have provided a creative outlet and more income. The husband at the time, was risk adverse and didn’t want me to do it. I let him talk me out of it. I had always wished I would have moved forward with that small buisness. This is the type of decision, I should have made on my own. It would have benefited me, my children and the household. There was little risk.
Whatever you are thinking about, be sure to consider your true feelings and do what’s best for you in the long run. Here are the questions I reflect on when I am ready to make a new things come about in my life.
- How will it affect those I love? My Children? My love?
- How will the outcome affect me?
- What does it look like if I decide this…. or that?
3. Explore the best options.
Options that feel good and affects those I love, positively. We recently decided to make a major move. We haven’t moved yet, but we’ve made the decision, and when the time is right, we will move. It’s a very difficult decision because we really love California. Regardless, we weighed all our options and the move is on. Here are some of the things we considered when making this decision:
- More time with our children.
- Cheaper cost of living.
- Brighter business opportunities, to name a few.
- New adventures.
Picking the best options for both sides, To Move or Not To Move, helped us sift through the facts without getting hung up on all the emotional reasons why we should or shouldn’t stay where we are. Here are a few guiding questions to help.
- Might this be a black and white decision, meaning once the choice is made, I can’t back out?
- What are my options around this decision?
- What benefits are there between all the options? Writing the positive options is much like brainstorming. How will this decision feel good?
- Will it affect my home life? Will I need to move? Change Locations? Where would that be?
The universe has unlimited resources to construct our hearts desires. I really try NOT to get attached to the outcome or the ‘hows’ of things unfolding. This is incredibly difficult for me. In high school chemistry, my teacher suggested I drop out. She said, ” There are too many things in Chemisty that just are. You’re too curious and seem unable to accept that which is. ” I often curb my curiosities and practice having faith, knowing that I’m always learning. If stressing over the details, I will spend countless hours worrying about things I can’t control. This is not good.
Instead, meditate on the desires around the decision at hand. Sitting quietly, sometimes I visualize our successful business in a new environment, dinners with family, working productively in a new studio allowing the bliss to settle deep within my soul, establishing joy… and before I know it, I’ve tapped into my new reality. The creative mind is working to visualize life as I wish it to be. This conjures up all sorts of yummy desired feelings which will help guide my choices based on the how I want to feel in this situation and in daily life. I hope you face making choices with your free will, permission to change your mind and desire to live life based on the way you want to feel everyday.
Take some time each day to envision your desired outcome. Imagine being in ideal situations with your favorite people, doing your favorite things. Smell the scents and aromas as if you are there. Taste the food you’re eating, visualize your happiness and wellness in this new place.
May it all come to be.