Making hard choices can be daunting. You procrastinate. Making no decision seems better than making a bad decision. Sitting still in a bucket of decisions can leave you weary.The dialog and conflict ping pong back and forth in your head, soul and heart.
What if it doesn’t work?
How will I know I’m making the right decision?
Like you, I have had some impossible decisions to make. The choices I have made in the past have gotten me to this point, and now, it’s decision time. It’s scary and feels uncertain. Taking a new path in life takes courage my friend. Here’s a few tips for making the most of difficult decisions.
1. BE CLEAR:
Trust your instinct and what’s best for you in this situation. When in doubt, talk to closest friends, family or a therapist. Seek neutral opinions from people who offer REAL advice and not just what you WANT to hear. Real support and comfort without judgement is what you need here. Guides. Wisdom and food for thought.
* (Unless we are talking about leaving an abusive situation, then the answer is always, GET THE HECK OUT, and you should definitely reach out to people you trust to help you.)
I find it easier to get clear when I hear myself talk to someone about what I’m facing. The conversation is the distillation process to clarity. Hearing that trusted person’s insight can offer solutions and new approaches.
2. GIVE YOURSELF PERMISSION TO CHANGE YOUR MIND:
One grey day in San Francisco, my friend Nicole and I sat at one of the hip coffee shops. *Before hipsters descended I might add. She’s a wise owl with pure intentions and I know I can trust her advice, whether I use it or not. Everyone should be so lucky to have a friend like this.
After I finished telling her about my dilemma and needing to make a decision she said,
Give yourself permission to change your mind.
Give myself permission to change my mind? I honestly hadn’t ever given it any thought. Changing my mind. Doesn’t that make me weak? Prove in someway that I did it wrong the first time? I don’t make a practice of making difficult choices on a whim, I take them seriously. Does this mean it takes some of the pressure off? Hell yes. I’m going to get clear about this decision and if it doesn’t workout, I CAN CHANGE MY MIND and go in a different direction. Do it differently next time. After all, I’m the author of my life.
3. COMMIT TO YOUR DECISION. MAKE A PLAN.
Are you clear? Do you feel safe in moving forward? Are your thoughts filled with excitement when think about what’s ahead? Good. Stay committed.
I find that when I’m already clear about a decision but hesitate, during that hesitation, doubt creeps in. This makes it confusing. When you doubt, fear guides the mind and emotions and often, procrastination takes over and you stop dead in your tracks. Try to keep the momentum moving forward, step by step everyday.
Taking new paths is challenging because we don’t know what to expect. It’s a path we haven’t traveled before. Like most journeys and trips, you need a road map. Commit to your decision by making a plan. Strategize your goals with a doable plan that is broken down in bite size pieces to get you from here to there.
You should FEEL your way through this process. I ask myself “How do I want to feel when I move?” , “How do I want to feel when I’m sitting in my new studio?” , “How do I want to feel when I am attracting new business?” Getting in touch and clear with how you want to feel in your life will guide your path from your heart and souls desires. *( I recommend reading Danielle LaPorte’s books to really learn how to find your Core Desired Feelings.) Understanding how you want to feel daily will help guide your steps to make the plan that works for you.
May your decisions in life come with ease and may your future be your greatest creation.